woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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