I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
