I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
