no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
