I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
