what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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