Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
