Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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