Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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