I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
