big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize