actually, I'm a sock model
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Let's get the cat blown out
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
