The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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