He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
