Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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