The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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