I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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