i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
