How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
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