The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
