and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
