Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
