Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
