I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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