Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Help. Why am I so naked?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
