I'm jealous of your bromance
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
