I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
