Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Randomize
