I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
