Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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