I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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