he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
