Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
