so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
