hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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