Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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