Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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