My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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