you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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