K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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