so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
