I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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