What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
