Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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