Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
