I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
