I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
