Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize