thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
