I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
