Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize