just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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