What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
