My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
