when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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