Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
