woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I just found puke in my bra..
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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