You really coming over, don't trick.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
