So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
