that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
