Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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